10 Things About Me

1. I own a lot of shoes. A LOT.
2. I could live on French fries and ranch dressing...

A fistful of mayonnaise makes a decent projectile in a pinch. If I'd been thinking more clearly, I would have grabbed a handful of jalapenos instead, but my vision did this red blurry anger thing and when I ran after Brady Willardson's black Jeep, what I threw was . . . mayo. It's probably harder to clean up and it's better that way, really. Less damage, bigger mess. Dumb kid. I owe him twice that for the way he trashed Handy's. I only wish I didn't mean that literally.

I trudged back inside the sandwich shop, and the door swept aside approximately a thousand of the napkins Brady and his lame friends had strewn all over the floor... (read more)

Q. How can I win cool stuff?

A. Click here to find out!